The Frog, the Butterfly and the Whale

She wasn't a big girl. Not at all really. She wasn't skinny either though. Most of her weight rested in the flab-hammocks of her arms. In fact, I've seen a lot of swimmers with this physique - quite averagely sized people with really flabby arms. Perhaps it's intentional and they act as fleshy ores when doing the breast stroke.

This woman was not doing the breast stroke. Instead she was face down and kind of hurling her stomach in order to project her body and drag her lags behind. This whale-like technique was not only unusual but also very, very splashy.

Between her and a man practicing his butterfly, the waves made my early morning swim seem more like a Navy Seal training exercise. If it wasn't for the taste of chlorine and nasal gym announcements, I'd have expected a submarine to go by underneath.

There's always a set of rules at the side of a swimming pool:

No Running.
No Glass.
No Alcohol Consumption.
No Diving.
All swimmers must wear a swimcap.
Always use the steps upon entering the pool.

Yet there's a set of rules that are not displayed:

Use the steps only if you're using the first lane.
Dive in if you're a man.
The fatter you are the closer to the first lane, please.
Make sure you wear a swimcap, even if your back and chest hair is longer than that on your head.
Always show how you feel about the temperature of the water by shaking your head and saying 'bwuuah'
If the pool becomes busy, do not feel like you need to exit. Instead, take turns using lanes and dodge other swimmers.
You don't even have to swim! Jog up and down the pool if you like. It's not like there's treadmills upstairs or anything.
If somebody gets gets in ten minutes after you and gets out any time before you, they have failed!
Most importantly pretend like you're not judging anybody.

There is no rule however, written or unwritten, about the level of splashing permitted. For really thin, lightweight people, like me - people who are just pretending they're a frog in a pond, a rule like this would be ideal. I suppose the food chain reigns supreme and whales will always dominate our waters.