Next Week on Previously On

Imagine I began this blog with "previously in Rob's blog..." how incredibly self indulgent would that be? How annoying? How insecure would it be to declare the need for you, the reader, to know everything that has gone before this particular post? As if this post wouldn't work without the others. Would it not render the other posts pointless - because why scroll through my scribbles if I can give you the gist of them all, in some sort of mishmash, right now?

But you love my blog, I know you do, all of you - I say all, I mean one. Actually, I'm not even sure if that 'one', isn't just me rereading, for punctuation and grammar mistakes.

So, I'm watching Luther at the moment on BBC All...I mean...BBC One. It's awesome. However it has this thing at the end of it. This 'next week on Luther' crap. It's literally like crap, little pieces of crap stuck to the hairs of your arse, that have somehow evaded the main wipe and insist on prolonging your time in the bathroom. Furthermore spoiling what seemed to be the most heavenly of turds.

I turn the TV off when this metaphorical shitty arse comes on. I do not want to know what happens next week. Not until next week! Damn it! I hope you can understand my hatred for it all. (Of course you understand, you're me - I am the reader, I am the writer, I am the eggman, koo-ka-fucking choo). My brother however, does not understand my hatred. He called me after the show last night. As he went to say, 'Did you watch what happens next week?' I interrupted him with the following:

'Fuck off and die.'

I did feel like that response was a little harsh and it made me realise that I tend to take fiction a lot more seriously than real life. Maybe this is something I should address.

Next week on Rob's blog....He addresses his life and its substitution for mainstream TV dramas. He is bemused at his brother's random death. He vigourously wipes his arse and begins the blog with a healthy Previously-on montage.