Well, when I make generalisations like this, I am usually assuming everybody in the world is like me. Of course, some people would prefer an Italian looking Englishman, deleting their facial hair with a cutthroat razor - to Mach 3-ing it off in the bathroom sink themselves . Me? I'm nervous enough about the haircut.
The barber's is, at times, an intimidating place to be. Especially if you're not a frequent visitor. Frequent visitors are usually men who have a strict limit on the length of their skinhead, like some kind of urban monks:
For example, I imagine Mr Ross Kemp (left) thinks Mr Fuzzy Head (below) is less manly because his hair has grew over the standard length. I remember feeling less human when I coloured outside the lines in infant school. I wonder if this is the same sort of feeling.
....actually, to be fair, that vest
isn't doing Fuzzy Head any favours
in the manly department.
isn't doing Fuzzy Head any favours
in the manly department.
Frequent visitors establish a relationship with the barber. I've seen skinheads having full conversations about the barber's children and vice versa.
It shouldn't be but a haircut is an ordeal for me, being a non-frequent visitor, a once-every-couple-of-months visitor. I sit there pretending to read the free newspapers, quarrying my mind for potential conversation starters before it's my turn in the chair.
Will he remember me? Even if he does, what did we talk about last time that got us through this necessary evil? Will he make a comment about my quif again? That seemed to take up a minute or two last time. Shall I mention my double-crown? Do I tip a barber? What's the etiquette? I tip cabbies and I'm not even sure if they deserve it. Yes, he shall have a tip, the silent haircut must have been awkward for him too. It's the least I can do. Will he find this odd? I don't know! God I'm pathetic.
In conclusion I am much, much more comfortable visiting the dentist.
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